Office Hours

[knowlogram]

[Come talk to or shout at your lovely IOU Counselor. His door is always open, unless someone else is already inside.]

[Please mark your toplevel with the week and day it takes place. Comments are screened for privacy and murder-plotty purposes.]

Comments

[knowlogram]

To my understanding? Basically anything. If anything from your home's gonna show up, it'll be from there.

[eudaimonikos]

Oh, huh.

[That's interesting! Not too relevant to him personally - he doesn't really have that many personal possessions, no demons do - but a fascinating concept!]

Well, that could be useful! [.....] Maybe a little less so, if you don't control it?

[knowlogram]

I don't, no. The, uh-

[Gentleman. Guy. Employee. Dude. Person.]

-BEING that does should show up sooner or later, but even he doesn't really control what comes out. The people that designed it were very big on true randomness.

[eudaimonikos]

Stupid thing to do.

[Why would you want a random factor in any of your plans?]

Do you know which of our things might be in there? I'm wondering where my Janet ended up now. [season one Michael: also has some bad Janet opinions!]

[knowlogram]

There's always an x-factor! In terms of randomness, not the comic book mutants team.

I've got a decent idea, yeah! I can't confirm or deny anything, but it's possible.

[eudaimonikos]

[siiiiigh]

Fine. I'd better try and get her out, if she is in there. Can't exactly leave here without her.

[knowlogram]

She'll be safe until you do, at least! The capsules have kind of a Pokéball stasis thing going on.

[eudaimonikos]

It's fine, you can just marbleize them. [...] Oh, that Pokemon thing that one human was yelling about?

[knowlogram]

Yeah! Handy little device, digitizes the critters in question for easy storage.

[eudaimonikos]

Oooh! That sounds great for human storage!

[michael no]

[knowlogram]

I don't think it works on people? But who knows, you could probably science it enough to make it work. Pokemon are kind of people in her world anyway, I think.

Glad none of the games have run with that, the edgelord fan theories are bad enough.

[eudaimonikos]

Oh, but humans being edgy is so funny! They're always like "ohhhh, I'm too big and tough to be tortured~", it's great!

cw: sexual slavery reference?

[knowlogram]

Well sure, sometimes. But mostly it's just "ooh, the Rugrats are all dead and Spirited Away is about child prostitution, aren't I smart" and no, they're not, they're just masturbating to their own faux intellectualism.

jesus it's been like two days

[eudaimonikos]

[Michael snorts.]

Oh, that's like, the Cartoon Creepypasta division. Not really my field, but they do good work!

[knowlogram]

That seems amazingly specific. ...Was "Ben Drowned" on you guys, or was that actually just the internet?

[eudaimonikos]

Oh, all that stuff's made up by humans. We just adapt. I actually think there's a few guys walking around in skinsuits of that weird little statue thing...seen 'em at a party once or twice.

[knowlogram]

[He considers this for a moment.]

...oh my god, you could be Weeping Fallen Angels, that would be terrifying.

[eudaimonikos]

Oh, those were huge for a couple of years.

[knowlogram]

Properly done jumpscares are under-appreciated. Doing that kind of thing right takes atmosphere! You can't just desaturate everything and make it too dark to see, like some people.

[eudaimonikos]

You are so right!

[is this. is this what we're doing now.]

Using darkness to scare people is a total hack job. Woo-hoo, you turned off some lights and triggered a basic evolutionary fear response, how innovative.

[knowlogram]

Heck, I can do that, see-

[He just kind of spreads his arms, and the light in the office immediately darkens to a deep red color.]

WELCOME TO HELL WELCOME TO HELL WELCOME TO HELL-

[The lights return to normal.]

Woo woo, you've mastered the same level of horror-crafting as a toddler.

[eudaimonikos]

[Michael laughs aloud.]

I've seen people do that! Honestly, who says "welcome to Hell" when you're literally welcoming them to Hell? That's not even intimidation, it's just facts! Not that I'm even really trying to scare them, myself...

[Except like, existentially? Eleanor should be scared of getting discovered, and so should Jason. It's just not really a spooky Halloween sort of fear experience.]

This is an interesting sort of setup, honestly. Not what I'm going for right now, but I can see it being fun to play with.

[knowlogram]

A straightforward approach seemed best here! We don't want to torture you guys- ...I mean, it's kind of torture. But it's to see how you'll all react, not as eternal punishment or anything.

[eudaimonikos]

[Michael inclines his head a little, in a "I'm possibly more interested in the former than the latter but I'm really not supposed to say so" sort of way.]

It's a little bit torture, though. You didn't even put in any windows.

[knowlogram]

The view's not that great anyway, trust me.