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[Come talk to or shout at your lovely IOU Counselor. His door is always open, unless someone else is already inside.]

[Please mark your toplevel with the week and day it takes place. Comments are screened for privacy and murder-plotty purposes.]

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It's been a big adjustment, but you're doing pretty well, I think! Any way I can help here?

Does it seem that way?

[ He shifts his weight a little. ]

It doesn't feel that way. Well, it actually doesn't feel like much. I read those books and they didn't help.

...Ah. Sorry. If you guys had a theater I might suggest Iron Giant, but that seems maybe a little on the nose. The book's in the libarby, but it's not great.

[He taps at his desk a little.]

But yeah! The way most people act, it'd seem a lot harder to get used to not eating.

[ Oh, he-

It's funny because he gets this sense of deja-vu except he can't remember having a conversation like this before. Memories are weird that way, and he dismisses it as an echo of the steel parts he's made of.

He takes a breath despite not needing to breathe either. At least, normally. But there's a lot of things he still goes through the motions of, because it's what he has. Fake it until you make it, dream until one day maybe it'll be a reality. In a cruel way, that's what this entire experience has been to him. Something he thought could be a dream come true, except it wasn't. ]

[ He's still not human. He's still made of countless pieces of metal instead of flesh and bone. He still doesn't have a heart that beats, just an empty pit inside his chest. Actually, it's worse than his reality back in Tokyo. He's not human, but a broken machine.

His eyes take the place of his usual tone, not dull, but utterly blank. ]

Not eating, killing. It's been too long, and I probably won't be able to kill a handful like I usually do. [ His voice slides into almost petulance at the end; a teenager complaining that they need to be home by 10pm and not midnight. ]

Oh! Oh. Hm. ...Yeah, it'd be pretty unlikely to be able to kill, like, everyone without someone noticing and managing to get somewhere you couldn't access. And then things would get complicated.

I could wait them out as long as I had water. But it'd probably be more trouble than it's worth...

[ He looks down then looks back to Hubert like, that's the only thing wrong with this hypothetical scenario, right? ]

It'd definitely be a novel approach? But once a body's been discovered, by the rules we hold a trial. Technically you're not forbidden from attacking someone during the investigation or trial, but if they already knew it was you it'd just take one of them to call the vote before you could get to the rest of them...

[He's. Considering the logistics of this.]

Really? Only one of them? There's not something like a minimum amount required or something? I could pick them off one by one if it worked that way.

[ Also thinking through the logistics, smh. ]

Technically it needs to be a majority, but if you're picking people off that's just gonna get easier.

[ More thinking... ]

I could cut out their tongues so they can't speak. Unless it's manually voting, but then I could just chop off their arms too.

Ooh, creative! We would have to provide some way for them to vote for basically any condition short of death, though. It's an accessibility thing.

Could you come up with one that fast? It's not like I'd drag this out more than I needed to, except for maybe the last one. Killing them fast isn't worth it to me, but if I really needed to I'd deal.

[ He's a bit more animated than he was previously because talking about murder is good fun, even if it's less fun than actual murder. That and anticipation is a thing, as is just chatting amicably about this with someone else.

He's never had this before, ty Hubert. ]

I can function at the speed of thought when necessary. Sorry, man.

[He's quiet for a second, using said processing speeds to run through some possibilities, vis a vis trials and Hiro, specifically.]

Oh, hey, I checked out that One Piece thing. MY NONEXISTANT GOD is it long.

If that's how you're made, then that's that.

[ It's appreciated though, but he has no time to linger on that topic because ONE PIECE!!! ]

Whoa, you never checked it out before? It's the best, the fact that it's not short is a good thing. Hey, who's your favorite character? Is it Zoro? Nami?

It's kind of ridiculous, but not in a bad way.

Chopper studied to be a doctor, I have to respect that kind of commitment.

Hey, hey, that better be in a good way then.

[ Like he can assume but neutral is an option but NOT an option when it comes to One Piece. ]

He's not my type, but yeah he's pretty cool. I'm not really an animal lover but if dogs could study to become doctors like him...they wouldn't be better than humans but it'd be close haha. [ he. probably killed a lot of small animals when he was younger so f. ]

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Office Hours

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cw; gore

Re: cw; gore

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