Office Hours

[knowlogram]

[Come talk to or shout at your lovely IOU Counselor. His door is always open, unless someone else is already inside.]

[Please mark your toplevel with the week and day it takes place. Comments are screened for privacy and murder-plotty purposes.]

Comments

week 2, tuesday night

[eudaimonikos]

Morally bankrupt!

[eyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!]

[knowlogram]

Morally bankrupt!

[EY!]

Good work on the outrage in general, by the by.

[eudaimonikos]

Oh, thank you!

[He flops down in the chair opposite Hubert, long legs sprawling casually. It's nice, really, to let down his whole act for a minute. Sure, Hubert brought him here against his will and that's not great and all - but it's only been a little while, and it's reasonably entertaining! He's not at the point of holding a grudge yet!]

I mean, I really do have a lot of plans revolving around Eleanor. But I could replace her if I had to - selfish, lazy humans with inferiority complexes are a dime a dozen. [A little bit of a pain, but he'll live.] What would you even do, retire her? I've never heard of anyone retiring a human, but I'm sure you could.

[knowlogram]

I don't know the FULL details? But- basically a soul is a whole lot of bio-electric impulses and telepathic imprints bound together with an ego and id and superego- and, I guess, stuff that a lot of people would call "magic"-

[He makes air quotes.]

But, uh, if you disrupt the stuff holding it all together it kind of goes poof and functionally stops existing as a person or ex-person.

[eudaimonikos]

...makes sense to me, I guess. No idea why you'd do that - can't get anything more out of them if they're dead.

[You can't torture a non-existent human! Where's the fun?]

But! Whatever! Loving the threats and bribes. It'll move things along a lot faster, I think.

[knowlogram]

No, but it's not really about them, it's more about you. You'd care even less about another demon or something, right?

[eudaimonikos]

Mmmm....yeah, don't really care about any of them.

[Shawn is...Michael wants, desperately, for Shawn to really see how good his idea is. He's always wanted to impress the guy. But if he vanished - well, that's a path to promotion, too. Michael wouldn't be upset.

He sounds utterly unmoved at the confirmation that he, uh, basically does not care about anyone in his life at all even a little.]

Even Janet's replaceable. The security on the angel warehouses is just awful.

[knowlogram]

All the guys who can think like criminals end up with you, huh?

[eudaimonikos]

Oh, definitely. I don't even know who it is they take up there, we've got all the famous ones.

[And he definitely isn't going to think any harder about that until like, season 3]

Right - I think I told someone I'd ask you for plants. I'm asking you for plants. [He sounds like he doesn't care at all, because he doesn't, but it's worth asking! Only helps his image if he gets some.]

[knowlogram]

Just any kind of house plants, or like a greenhouse or something?

[eudaimonikos]

[Shrug!]

Are room requests a thing?

[knowlogram]

Minor spoiler, but if you guys survive long enough there'll be more space unlocked. Kind of like an achievement, only with murder.

[eudaimonikos]

Oh, that's fun! I've been going nuts in this place - I don't usually have a bunch of humans crawling all over me unless I'm, you know, actively torturing them. And that's not crawling so much as it is.......oozing?

[knowlogram]

Do souls ooze? I thought that was just, like, a Ghostbusters thing.

[eudaimonikos]

Oh, they basically take the forms of their old bodies, in the afterlife. Full of juices.

[knowlogram]

...Why is biology so gross at literally every stage of life and death.

[eudaimonikos]

They're hideous beings, Hubert, I don't know what to tell you.

[knowlogram]

Fascinating, disgusting beings. It's like some kind of cruel cosmic balance to having such interesting minds.

[eudaimonikos]

Ugh, it really is. They're so much more interesting than most demons - I mean, don't get me wrong, we're absolutely the superior beings. But so stodgy! At least humans do new things sometimes...

[knowlogram]

Free will's a heck of a drug, man.

[eudaimonikos]

Well - we have free will, too. That's just human theology, that they're the only ones with it. So self-centered!

[knowlogram]

Oh, is all the bureaucracy not just- built in?

[eudaimonikos]

No more than human bureaucracy. It was all set up by the people in charge when humans started coming in. I wasn't involved, of course, I'm nowhere near that important - but no, we had existences before humanity.